I have not been myself lately, I wonder what's wrong with me. Was it due to the stress in school? Or was there another reason? Whatever it is, I sure ain't falling in love with the new me. I guess it's probably due to the stress for every single thing in my life. I have to stress about school, stress about coming to school, stress about sleeping and a thousand other stuffs. Now I have to worry about my pocket money, I'm proud to say that I've run out on whatever measly amount of savings I had. It's time to starve myself in school once again. So it's either I die of hunger or I die of stress. Well, at least it's better than being squash by tonnes and tonnes of rubble. At least I won't have to see my family die before me. Not that I care anyway. I wasn't born with a golden spoon, Heck, my spoon wasn't even made of steel. Although I wasn't unhappy with my life, I wasn't really happy about it either. How would you feel if you come home everyday to a home with the atmosphere so tense that you find it hard even to breathe? How would you feel if you wake up every morning not by the sound of birds chirping but rather, by the sound of objects being thrown all over the house? The situation worsen everyday, and it seems that the best place to hide is in my room. Within my own enclosed space, and therefore I'm used to starving for days and days. And that's how I got severe Gastritis. But recently I don't really feel the pain like before, maybe I've gotten used to the pain or maybe I'm just too tired to even care about it. I'm going through the same ordeal over and over again each day. Pulling myself from awake each morning was like a torture itself, I don't feel any joy coming to school. But I've got no choice but to force myself awake and prepare for school even though I hate it. Then I have to travel a long journey from my house to school. The long ride on the MRT diminished whatever enthusiasm I had for school, and I was totally a wreck when I reach my stop. But luckily in school, time fly pass so fast that I don't even notice it. Then it was time to go home, and I have to take the long ride home again. And when I reached home, It would be considered very lucky if I can enter my room without having to walk through the front lines of World war III. It's usually those innocent who suffer during wars, and I am usually part of their vanguard to withstand every single shit they threw at each other. The question is why? Why am I part of this family? Why must I be even related to them? I don't ask for much, I just want a normal family. A family that will care. But is that too much to ask for? And now I'm forced to find a freaking job cause my family refuse to provide for me. And the reason is because they wanted more money for themselves. Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading, not pleading to them but pleading for salvation. Pleading for a hope somewhere out there. Pleading for someday that all these will end..