Some weird things about me.

When asked about impressions of me, people usually only give vague descriptions or sometimes, wrong descriptions of me. Therefore I came up with a few explanation of how this is possible.

Some people think that I’m always in my own world; they think that I isolate myself from friends too much. So they give stupid excuses like they don’t know me well and stuff. But did you ever try knowing me? I can ask any simple question about and you’ll give me an answer so pathetic that I question if you’re even my friend.

Some people think that I am too proud and difficult to communicate with. Well, I tell you, my ego is definitely bigger than your pea-sized brain. If you think you can’t communicate with me, try using sign language. Personally, I never once thought that my English is powerful or difficult to understand. If you think you can’t understand me, the problem probably lies with you. I’m sick and tired of repeating myself over and over again so that people can understand. Please try to understand I have a bad temper and I can’t usually contain it well.

And there are definitely some others who think that I’m crazy just because I have constant mood swings that can happen within seconds. First of all, I was never really in a good mood before so don’t assume that I am in a good mood. Secondly, about the mood swings part, I was actually faking the smile I put on when I face some people. Therefore, conclusion, I’m always in a foul mood.

A little peek into my mind is all you need to understand me, but I’m afraid that’s quite impossible so I shall share with you some views of mine.

I’m sure everyone knows by now that I’m a perfectionist, or at least I try to be one. I sometimes sacrifice friends in pursue of perfection, but that’s usually inevitable, this is how I am. For some of you, perfection is definitely out of your league, hence, I don’t usually ask for much during projects. But at least you have to show me something proper and not something that looks like it’s done by a three year old kid. Maybe my expectation of others is too high, or maybe they’re just plain dumb. Another thing I hate about people is that they take and not give. I’m sure you know who I’m talking about perfectly well. For that to happen once be enough, repeating the same mistake is definitely like testing my patience. If you tell me you have no time and at least attempt to help, I can understand. But if you just wait for me to finish and claim the credit, then I don’t really see the difference between you and a beggar. At least a beggar begs for a living, you however, just wait for the benefits. I shall say this once and for all, I’ll never partner with anyone who doesn’t contributes anything to the project anymore. If you wish to partner with me again, contribute something, don’t force me to kick you out of the group when my patience runs out.

I know everyone is selfish, we’re born this way. But I am disgusted by the way some people display their selfishness. Everyone has their own projects; do you think you’re the only one rushing the dateline? I all along knew that you’re childish, but now you’ve taken my views of stupidity to another higher level. And I never knew that humans can be such an irritant. There’s a time and place for everything, but you never seemed to understand this sentence. So enough said, I shall not lower my value and mix with someone as valueless as you.

Not long ago, a friend of mine told me that she doesn’t understand me even after knowing me for nearly 8 years. Then I started thinking, how come nobody seems to understand me? All I can say is that I’m unpredictable; I don’t even know what I’m doing at times. And I agree that I’m weird at times, not totally. I’ve got my normal days as well as bad days. Most people would define the things I love to do as weird or strange. For example, I love taking the MRT and listening to music. Of course, this seems like kind of normal, but I would sometimes take MRT just for the sake of listening to music. There’s once where I took a train from Boon Lay all the way till Pasir ris and back, twice. The whole journey took me nearly five hours. Wonder what I was doing throughout the entire journey? I was watching the different behavior of humans.

Humans are really strange creatures. They can appear really friendly at first, but you’ll never know what they are actually doing behind your back. Likewise for friends, they can never be trusted. Never.