It's funny how reality can sometimes hit you so hard in the face that you lose conscious immediately..
You lose awareness of your existence , sensations , thoughts , surroundings and everything.. You'll feel confused about what is real and what's not..
You will suffocate on the insecurity you feel..
Maybe that's the reason why we keep avoiding reality..
Afraid to face it , afraid to know the consequences..
Maybe it's just human instincts , just an in-built system to protect us from feeling hurt..
But I guess I'm not as lucky as the rest..
I don't have such a system to protect mi..
I feel that I'm more orientated towards inflicting pain on myself..
I don't know how I got this way but I'll never be alright..
20 panadols / sleeping pills a day for mi seems like a normal thing to do..
Seeing my blood flows like a river just turns mi on..
Bringing pain on myself was a hobby for mi..
I admit that my life was bloody , but It'll continue..
Cause inside , I realise that I'm the one confused..
I'm confused with everything about life..
Confused about everyone..
Confused about myself..
School's around the corner as the pressure builds up..
I'm not sure how long I can last..
But not for long..
I need some help..
Anyone..
Can anyone hear my silent scream?